Blog Gone Haywire!!

The background of my blog is all weird....stay tuned, I will try to get it fixed soon :)

It's Ovah!!

It’s over! Months of running and training are finally done, and I did it. I ran all of the 13 miles in 1 hour and 55 minutes, much faster than anticipated. And the weather was GORGEOUS! And even though I’m ready to not run for a long, long time, after all that hard work it feels like I should keep it up instead of just letting myself get all soggy again. I’m too sore right now to think about extra movements :) but I am planning to run the Race for the Cure 5k downtown this Saturday! Three miles is NOTHING!!

 My thoughts about the half-marathon:

• Des Moines is a really beautiful place when you are forced to look around and not just whiz by in a car!

• Your body can do things you never thought it could.

• Running is very much a mind game.

• I will be forever grateful for Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” for getting me through mile 8 when I hit my wall. And for Greenday for ending the race with me!

• It was really strange to be running and running for what felt like forever until my legs wanted to fall off and then….I just stopped. I got to the finish line and all of a sudden the thing I was trying so hard NOT to stop just stopped.

• The body types and ages of people who could run well amazed me. Some people who look like they should be really good or fast are not, and others who you’d never guess could run a mile were right up front.

• Some people can run crazy fast. Just about 15 minutes after I crossed the finish line, the first marathoners were finishing their race. That is CRAZY fast!!

• Go to the bathroom before you start running.

• Don’t drink too much while you are running. One girl did, and it wasn’t pretty….

• If you are there to watch a runner, maybe consider the fact that they will probably run faster than expected, and be at the finish line a few minute early. Just sayin’….

• I can’t imagine getting to 13 miles and being like “well, I’m halfway there!” Marathoners are crazy….

• A giant HILL at 11.5 miles?? Not cool, Des Moines, not cool at all….

• I got passed by a guy who looked 80.

• I passed a guy who was wearing a t-shirt that said he’s run a marathon in every state….twice!

• And last but not least – the Des Moines Marathon web site needs a MAJOR overhaul. At midnight the night before the race, Joel happened to notice something on the site that said you had to pick up your registration stuff BEFORE Sunday morning or you couldn’t race. I was devastated – all that work for nothing! I had read the website, registered early, and read the emails they sent to me. Nothing anywhere said I had to pick up my stuff before race day, except for this one buried page on the site. Thankfully, we e-mailed someone right away and they let me know I could pick up my stuff in the morning. Geesh, talk about total panic!

What an accomplishment for this non-running girl to complete this race. When I said I wanted to do it two years ago, I think I was mostly kidding. At that time I couldn’t even run one mile, and the most I had run before that was 4 miles during Miss Iowa training. And honestly, until I crossed that finish line, I had my doubts whether I could run the entire race or not. People were dropping like flies during the last mile. But I pressed on, and am so glad I did. What goals are you going to take steps toward tackling today?? Get out and do it!!

Update with official results: I finished 938th out of 4,369 half marathon runners, and 328th out of 2,522 female participants. My official 10k time was 53:10, and my half marathon time was 1:54:11, placing my rank at 79th for females ages 25-29, whatever the heck that means!

Just A Dream

I have a confession to make: I am a dreamer. Most people probably don’t know this about me because my life seems so ordinary, regular, and put-together from the outside. But for as long as I can remember, I have dreamed. I would daydream for hours; I would lay awake at night dreaming up scenarios or situations. Sometimes my overactive imagination isn’t a good thing, but I also think life would be boring without it. My mind is random, spontaneous, and chaotic – if you know me very well at all, you know this….just try to have a conversation with me for two minutes and you’ll see what I mean :)

Well, the last few weeks at church have been about dreaming. Sermon series’ about dreams, purposes, fulfillment, etc. always hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel motivated and driven for a minute, but then the weight of life’s disappointments hits me in the face. It’s all stuff I need to hear, but sometimes wish I could continue living in my little oblivious bubble, just barely content enough with life to get by. But then these sermons happen, and it stirs in me what I have been pushing down since I was oh, probably fourteen or so. And the only thing I can think is, WHY.

Why is God doing this to me again? Why can’t He just let me be happy with my nice little life with my nice little family and my nice little house? Why isn’t that enough for me? Every once in awhile, I get this feeling like maybe something more is supposed to happen, so I slowly, cautiously start pursuing it. Well, last time that happened, a week later I found out I was pregnant…so that was a pretty clear sign to me that I was barking up the wrong tree. Brady is a huge blessing and a wonderful distraction, but I feel sometimes like that is all life is for me: one giant distraction from what I’m really supposed to be doing, whatever that looks like. And when the distractions go away or minimize, I am left with a giant hole where my purpose is supposed to be.

And then God surrounds me with some of the most incredibly talented people, kind of like dangling a carrot in front of my face, but never getting to actually eat it. And I see the dreams, aspirations, and goals of some of them and I feel so encouraged and discouraged at the same time. I have more obstacles and complications to pursuing my dreams than a lot of them do. And I begin to feel like my dreams are too big, too unattainable, too silly. And the fear of failing is always there, always present. I would rather not try and wonder what could have been than to try my best and fail.

I know the motivational verses: God won’t give you more than you can handle, everything works together for good for those who love him, do not worry about tomorrow, worry is fruitless, trust the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, strength, lean not on my own understanding….(I’m sure I’m butchering these, but memorizing scripture is NOT my forte!). I know all these things, and yet I can’t help but worry. Worry that I’m missing out on my purpose. Worry that if I don’t let go of the control, I might never find it. Worry that I’ve already missed the boat. Worry that maybe what I would like my purpose to be isn’t what God has called me to be. Worry that I’ll never figure it out.

But I still dream – even if that’s all it ever becomes, just a dream.

Fall Time

Hello total blog abandonment! 

What has been going on in my world? Everything and Nothing! Life feels stressful, but I'm not sure why really. Maybe it's because this fall has been and continues to be jam-packed on the weekends. Between out-of-town weddings, races, birthdays, family mini-vacations, pumpkin carving contests, church activities, football games, etc., I think the rest of this year is just booked. Thankfully, my weeknights have cleared up now! I have a love/hate relationship with being busy.....if I'm not I get bored, and if I am I get stressed.

So, T minus five days until race time. I am so ready....for it to be over! I am looking forward to accomplishing this goal, but man have I been unmotivated to run the last few weeks! It's even been unseasonably warm lately - mid to upper 70s and even the 80s - and so pleasant for outdoor running, and yet I think I began the "tappering" part of training oh....three weeks ago! Well regardless, Sunday is Go Time, whether I'm ready or not.

I'm hoping I can stop feeling so stressed and enjoy this wonderful fall we've had so far - because soon enough, it will be winter.