Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I LOVE KNOWING!!

When my good friends Missy and Tommy were pregnant with their triplet girls, I found out one of the names of the babies. None of our friends knew, but I did. And I think I rubbed it in - one of these friends eventually said, "Enough, we know you know!" Which led me to yell in the middle of a restaurant, "I LOVE KNOWING!" And it has become a running joke ever since.

Well, I started thinking about it and you know what? That really is indicative of who I am as a person. I really DO love knowing.

I love knowing stuff. I kind of hate the process of learning, but I love to know things and feel intelligent ( I just misspelled "intelligent"....wonderful).

I love knowing people. I mean REALLY knowing them. Not the person they try to be or want to be, but the person that actually exists. It's only something that happens with a few people, but I love knowing who people really are and for them to know who I really am - the good, bad, and ugly.

I love knowing every line of every episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I love knowing why things happen. I love knowing why or how things have occurred in my life, and what is going to happen in the future. This is kind of a problem since life is one big mystery, and becomes an issue for me in the way of anxiety. When I don't understand or know why something is happening, or what might happen in the future, I get really, really anxious.

So while I was looking at loving to know things as a generally positive thing, it actually causes a lot more stress in my life than if I would just be content to sit back, let God take the wheel, and know that I don't get to know everything....and that's ok.

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